How to Win a Fight: Self-Defense for the Untrained Person

You’re out and enjoying life with your friends or a certain young lady. But some knucklehead is determined to end your fun by trying to punch your lights out. What can you do?

There are some simple self-defense tactics that even someone who's not in great shape or has any special training can employ:

First of all, wake up!
Who’s watching you?
Look around, is someone giving you a hard look? Or alternately, does someone quickly avoid your gaze?
Watch people’s hands as you are walking, don’t look away when you pass.
Cross the street if you have to avoid a group of punks.
Don't get too drunk.
Are you doing something stupid like hitting on someone’s girlfriend at the bar?
Are you in the habit of boasting about your fancy watch, car, apartment?
Point out the troublemaker to the bartender or doorman.
If the negative vibes get too intense, leave.
Remember, it’s always easier to STAY out of trouble than to GET out of trouble.

Second of all, keep from getting hit in a vital area!
Get your hands up in front of your face to protect your head.
Keep your mouth closed with your teeth clenched. When your mouth is open you are ripe to get your jaw broken (which means you should forget about ‘talking trash’).
Circle away from his power side (circle to the right if he has his right hand cocked back, circle to the left if he has his left hand cocked back).
You need to be either two arms lengths away from him (outside of his kicking range) or all the way in tight against him (holding him in a boxing clinch). Anything in between puts you in range for his punches and kicks.

Third, use your strongest weapons against his weakest targets.
Use the proverbial knee to the groin when you are clinching.
Smash him with your elbows in the face, throat and neck.
Kick him in the knee, groin or lower abdomen. Kick straight ahead using the bottom of your foot like you would kick in a door. Or kick straight back like a mule using your heel. If you are untrained, resist the urge to kick with the top of your foot like you are punting a football, you will probably use too much of your toes instead of your shin (ouch!).
If you try to trade punches with him, you're probably playing right into his game.

Finally:
Get a barrier between you and him (even if you have to run around a car).
Yell for help. You can't count on people coming to your aid, but he might think someone will render assistance.
Use a weapon. Hose him down with your pepper spray. Use a chair like a lion tamer. Throw ashtrays at him.
Make your escape. Lose your ego and your attitude. Retreat and escape. Live to go out and party again next weekend.
Better yet, start training tomorrow in a self-defense art or program.